beLL

2011-01-05T23:42:00.003+08:00

dy syg .. i love u so much .. dont want to let everything slip away .. we can work this out .. yes we can .. dy , u know i love you so much .. alot !! dy , i dont want to lose u in anyways ..

2010-12-28T22:38:00.002+08:00

hais . dy , do u know i love u alot . my wholehaertedly . i mean theres no word that can describe my love for u . how i wish u could feel my heart . omg . this is crazy . u make me crazy md fauzi . i'm just so in love with u even how u hurts me , im just getting in love with u . hais . how i wish this feeling could stop cause its killing me . i fought with him , but as i thought he wont be coming back . but hes home . only that he go play takraw now . i know u care too syg . thats why u come home . kalau tak , jgn harap nak tgk dier balik . my dear husband , im just so merajok with u for pissing me off . u told me not to bother u , so im doing it . i hope u understand me . im not doing it for fun . its what u want . thats why im keeping queit when u got back . n honestly , im so missing u .

i love md fauzi !!
u are my devotion .

2010-12-28T17:51:00.002+08:00

hais . i guess i had enough . i'm sorry hubby . sorry i cant be a good wife . my nak buat dy happy tapi slalu bila my buat dy happy , dy marah my . my nak tgk dy senang . my tau my ni tak guna . my tau . dy , betol dy tknk my lagi . dy , betol dy da tak syg my lagi . maaf kan my syg . dy , betol dgn tkde nye my dy akan bahgia . my akan pergi syg , my tak akan ganggu hidup dy lagi .

maafkan my syg ,
my terlalu cinta kan dy .
my harap dy akan bahgia tanpa my.

2010-12-02T14:34:00.000+08:00

why ? why must he hate me . i just wish he could love me . i know its me . i cant make him happy . whatever i do , can never please him . my kindness is his pain . what should i do more . dont say try , ive already make him happy . but still its not enough for him . i've been patience all awhile too ok . can never mean that i can be patience forever . u treat me like a dog . n u had already confess that u dont need me . what was that suppose to mean . everytime u will say like that to me . for once , i can tell myself , u are angry thats why u say that . i tell myself u dont mean it . but a thousand time i heard it . i tell myself , NANA U SHOUL LET HIM GO , HE IS NEVER HAPPY WITH U . should i let u go dear . so u can be happy n stress free . u said it urself . i'm irritating n u ask me to gi jahanam . u even dare to say , jgn cari aku lagi . how could that possibly be u dont mean it . muhd fauzi , i've once in ur shoes . being tired n someone nag at u . but cant u talk nicely . if u cant talk nicely , k i undrstand u are angry . but theres isnt a need for u to say all that to me . i guess u really mean what u say . because the last time i cry , i tell myself , no he didnt mean wat he say , give him one more chance to control his anger . but u've wasted the chance . so sorry but i did what i have to do . u said not to bother u . ok . u dont want me in ur life right . u are never happy being with me right . i will show u carefree . u dont need me , i wont be there . u not happy bein with me , i wont try to please u . u dont want me , i'll go from ur life . u said dont bother u , i wont care for u . u said GI JAHANAM , i'll walk away arite . this is what u want . this is what u get muhd fauzi.
satu suami yang aku sanjung . ape kau nak , aku cuba sedaya upaya aku kasi kau . tak pernah cukup . aku tak pernah buat kau bahgia kan . aku sedar aku sape .
MUHAMMAD FAUZI , PADA SUATU MASA KAU PERNAH LAFAZKAN BAHAWA AKU BUKAN BINI KAU . DENGAN LAFAZ ITU ADA NIAT DISEBALIKNYA . DAN NIAT ITU TELAH MENGESAHKAN BAHAWA AKU BUKAN BINI KAU . (tak belajar ke kat kursus rumah tangga)

2010-11-18T17:29:00.001+08:00

i went so devastated when everything starts to tumble . ya allah , berikan lah aku kekuatan untuk menempuhi ujian mu allah . without me realising he started to hate me . oh god . feel like dying . wish i could just kill myself . i dare ! but i just couldnt do it whenever i see my girl . i'm just being to selfish . my girl needs me . thats why im still standing strong . why ?? why u have to force urself to get married to me . now u are married to me . so whats the point of saying regret . just divorce me . i know u can never be happy with me . wish i could have that courage to let u go .

* fear is killing me
* dont want u to hate me

2010-10-01T09:24:00.000+08:00

its my wedding day and i am the most luckiest girl on earth . i started to fall in love more each day with u husband . hoping u feel the same too . i just so loving my husband n my babygirl . thanks allah for blessing us with NUR FALISYAH .

please god , i need ur guidance in being a good wif n mother .
god , show me the right path to lead my daughter .
amin .

i so loving my life .

2010-01-23T18:33:00.005+08:00

loving my one and only hubby .
acai is the name .
missing him so much right now .
unborn , awaits .
excited , anxious and happy .
5 more months to go .
for him and the unborn .
love both of them .
they are the beats of my heart.

to him ,
u have been a very great boyfriend .
u are special that i've ever met ,
that makes u so special in my heart .
i feel so secure in ur arms .
the moments we spent together ,
are the happiest moment i've ever had .
i appreciate all ur dedications ,
i'm so grateful to have u .
i love the way u love me and i will never stop loving u .
this , i promise .

2009-03-19T04:44:00.004+08:00

i'm gonna deleta all my blog past since whenever it start till march'08 .. have to be deleted ..
waste of SPACE keeping it ..
menyemak je .. heh !
kan kan kan ..
kalau krg nak baca , cepat hor !
keh3 ..

2009-01-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

happy new year !!
2oo9 ya !!

from work ..
sous chef see firework ..
when pub ..
a chinese pub !!
with sous chef , a fren and mr.Prince ..
drink till drunk ..
talk nonsense ..
bla bla bla ..

1st jan ..
to east coast with family ..
eat ayam ..
so very the berminyak ..
erggh ..
from sis , thats why la ..
got migraine due to the hangover ..
didnt enjoy my day that much ..

~~~ resolutions ~~~
* cut down drinking
* stop all nonsense
* think straight
* stand up
* wake up

i love me !!!!!!!!
party ya !!

2008-08-16T06:57:00.000+08:00

MY HANDPHONE !!
me , her n her bf ..
drink till drunk ..
the drunk one ask the other drunk to throw her hp ..
and the drunk drinker throw..
lolx ..
mrepek wai ..
aku peh bodoh gy campak hp aku kat river clarke quay ..
sape2 gy sane , klau tertangkap hp aku , kasi aku alek tau !!
haha ..
hp aku yg tak sbrape sen tuh ..
kim lepas keje tros tron clarke quay jmpe aku ..
pastu die lyn kan aku peh mabok sampai ke outram ..
haha , mepek sak tuh kim ..
penat tau , jln jauh dok ..
lepak jek kat sane sampai pagy ..
nie pon aru alek ..
naek cab tady ..
ok la ..
kim da call , da sampai uma ..
nk tdo nie ..

EVERYBODY IN THE CLUB GET TIPSY ..

2008-08-14T20:41:00.001+08:00

yest kim's morning .. he asked me to follow him go interview work at sing flyers .. meet hes fren .. maner nyer ahbeng2 jek .. haha .. pastu kte gy mkn kat marina nyer food court .. then we lepak ard there jek la .. and go CHILL la !!

now i just came back from work .. tiring leh .. waaah ..

my thoughts = i dont wanna let other ppl thoughts run around me .. i wanna be strong for all i know that this is my lyfe that i'm living .. if u wanna say i'm a bitch , by all means .. lyke i care (roll eyes) .. i wouldnt care less .. if its u the one who thinks it , its u the one who is a bitch .. i dont even have that kind of bitch attitude and i didnt mean rude for what i'm saying but u are just too greedy and selfish ..

BITCH ME ARD FOR ALL I CARE !!!

2008-08-11T23:34:00.002+08:00

she knows everything !!
so wat the heck ..
haha ..
she'll find out sooner or later wat ryte ..
so bla-bla-bla ..
noting to post ..
bored ..
meeting my fren ..
going to bkt batok ya !

I'M GOING PARTY !!

2008-08-01T21:54:00.001+08:00

well well well ..
"she" is getting along wif that Kim guy ..
while me , still stuck with that fcuker ..
y cant u let me go ..
i had sick n enuff of ur shits la fcuk ..
to u norisman rahmat , i can never be with u ..
since 010108 .!
i started realising that theres where my love for you fade ..
let me go , to see me happy ..
for all awhile , i've been tolerating u ..
now i'm sick n tired ..
i'm exhaust n vexed ..
please !!
let me go la fcuk !!

FCUKERS !!!!

2008-07-24T00:35:00.001+08:00

just got a job . . at boat quay .. the moomba .. part-time .. the manager there gerek nyer type .. then most of the kitchen staff is chinese sey .. apek-apek .. saw this one chinese guy(kitchen staff) .. so cute .. but it "hers" .. ahaa .. so cannot kacau .. but brother n sisters can la .. haa .. she chop ferz mahx .. tkde satu mats2 pon sei .. fwaa ..

later ..
love me ..

2007-12-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

here i am starting off with my weekend . . he book out alredy last weekend . . i was late fetching him due to overslept . . haha . . we went out and bla bla bla. .

i simply just didnt understand what is the importance of money ?? yah i noe without money u cant live . . but does money really can make u happy . . okehh , lets talk about what if u r broke n u only left with 10 dollar . . what would u do ? would u be going around meeting ur frens with a long face . . ? always frustrated n keep thinking about ur broke problem ?

i'm so fucking damn fed up n yet again i got no one to turn to . . only with my dear diary . . i'm so pissed . . i dont understand . . even if u have a 10 dolar with u , would that be a problem to me ? duuh . . money wont make me happy for life . . my loves one will make me happy for life . . i'm just bored . . i feel like going out , to somewhere thats peacefull , so i can ease my mind . .

i'm so the bored . . very very bored . . i want to go out . . i'm hungry . . i want to eat . . i'm so hungry . . lucky i can tahan . . even if we have 10 dolar , can we like go out n chill around , have some fun . . what a boring night . . hmmph . .

later ~

2007-11-23T03:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so lonely . .
i really got no one to turn to . .
everyday i'm bored , sad , depress . .
how long i hafta go on like dis . .
living in a world of emptiness . .
no days for me . .
only lonely nights . .
to accompany me . .
through out diz moment . .
a moment dat i didnt believe i've to suffer . .
the suffer dat i feel like losing u . .
the depression is really hurting me . .
things are not the same without u . .
i need u here with me . .
do u know how hurt it is to miss u . .
i dont know what to do . .
i just cant go on living like this . . . .

the only thing i can do is prayers hoping that u r safe out there . . tears that covered my nights . . n memories for remembrance . .

2007-10-02T15:16:00.000+08:00

yeay ! hapie burfdae to me . .
i'm one year older !
i'm 16 . .
old enough to be a girl . .
young enough to be a lady . .

well . . yesterday wasnt dat fun la. . but a sweet funny thing he do for me is dat he cook nugget for me !! haha . .its for our break fast . . i just wish i get watever i wish for . . hee . . later ~~

2007-08-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

ola !!! went fishing wif my darling . . only both of us . . but he's fren cam only for awhile . . caught two fish !! haha . . one was a poisonous one. . i dodnoe wat it called . . another can be eaten , but very de TINY ! haha . . so we throw the fish bek to the sea. . haha . . went at the punggol . . oh well . . enjoyed my fishing time wyf hym . . haha . . tired already. . . very2 tired . . nytex2 . . __ toodlex __

2007-08-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

spent a great day wif him . . wif his frens . . quite tiring though . . went to town for an job interview . . parked their bike at ard lido there. . go interview. . eat at taka . . we proceed to heeren . . den to far east . . just chilling at there . . met his another fren at sim lim . . they wanna survey something about computer dat i'm not sure wat it is . . haha . . i'm blur like sotong . . after taking a real big tour at sim lim , i was like can sumone carry me . . hee . . was so damn tired already . . hmmph . . i hate it went my legs got tired. . boring u noe. . cannot walk much . . after dat i tot we gonna go sumwhere n take a break . .skaly dey wanna go mustapha for a while.. haiyoh . . nehmind la. . i juz follow dem lorx. . since we got nothing better to do . . bla3 . . n dats the end of our outing for today . . haha . . i just went bek home. . njoy todae coz its been a long tyme dat i've got too tired . . hee . . *love2 . . chaox . . . . . . . .

2007-07-22T05:25:00.000+08:00

heyx . . earlier on went out with my family . . as usual . . fetch my sis ferz . .we go geylang . . den we go east coast . . play bowling . . haha . . very funny . .ferz tyme i see my sis bowl . . tak leh carry . . kekek2 seh . . haha . . go home . . stay at home. . nothing to do . . watch dvd . . citer hantu . . seram la seh . . bla3 n so on . .

cant sleep coz he suddenlymsg me at dis tyme. . he said he dreamt abt me . .he dreamt dat i got another boyfren . . haha . . funny la him . . pity him coz hafta always think abt me. . whereas he's already stress abt his job n family . . he's fate was such a pity . . i just hope dat my presence doesnt make him uneasy . . hais . .

mornx ~~~

2007-07-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

l0ve hym lots2. .

*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*mwarkx*

2007-07-06T05:07:00.000+08:00

haiyoh. . fought with him just now. .he doesnt seems to understand me n all he want is me understanding him . .firstly he was like so call force me to buy things with his money. .i said i dont like to use his money for my needs. . instead of understandin me,he get mad abt it. . he scold me. . he said he feel useless. .seeing him dat way den i say i'll buy my needs the next day with hym at far east lorx. . another one thing i really mad at him is a bit confidential la. . in short,he doesnt get wat my parents wants from me. .i dodnoe la. . just now we fight also becoz hes tired. .i understand la. . but i'm frustrated also seh. . i throw my hp. .spoilt aready. . n for everyone's info i didnt use my singtel line 9753 dat one. .hais. . i rilli need to get a new hp. .hais. .i'm really depressed now.. later ~~

2007-06-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

ergh. . binget sak. . y it must happen to me. . y he dont want me to work anymore. . he says dat pizahut doesnt haf a stable welfare. . wat does dat mean?? aku tak paham uhr. . abeh diye p.k diye boleh keje beh aku tak leh la. . padahal diye slalu ckp yg keje diye strez la. . keje 12 jam pulak tuh. .sort of 12 hours la. . mmg gaji diye byk. .gaji aku taik gigi jek. . tapi its wat i can effort for now. .at least sumting better den nothing kan. . nie tidak. . suroh aku carik keje laen. . diye p.k senang pe. .aku da takleh pakai hp. .aku cumer divert col kat diye. .tgk la. .semuer aku yg nak kene dgr kater diyer. . diye tak pernah dgr kater aku. .aku binget sak. . !! abeh nanti aper kater bdk2 keje. . aper kater shida ??????? mmg besar peh sial uhr hidop aku cm nie. . tapi takpe la. .syg peh psl . .haish. .

2007-05-18T17:56:00.000+08:00

just came back from lucky plaza. .interview pizahut at there. . haha. . dpt seh. . gy dgn sufi. . weeee~monday start. . i hope i can stay wif this. . tanx to shida though. . hmmph. .later. . !!!

2007-04-29T04:58:00.000+08:00

yawn ~~ its nearly 5 in de morning agayn n i havent sleep !! errgrhh. . from just nao play games. . haha. . best seh. . but tak leh lary dgn stress uhr. . hmmph. .

knaper la. . eeeee. . p.k2 balek ehk mcm bodoh sak asek2 gado. . haish. . aku nak paham maman tapy aku sendry yg tak paham diri aku. . aku stress. . diyer stress. . kesian sak. .i dont wan hym to get stress. . errghh. . pity hym alotx. . ish. . rase mcm nak tdo utk selama lama nyr. . taknak bangon. . taknak kenal aper erti kehidupan. . *sobx . .tak payah nak tempuhi dugaan kehidupan. . god !! ish. . i rilli cant take it anymore. . ku da tak tahan lagy !! eerrrrhhh. . *tears . . i tink i hafta need my tyme alone ryte nao. . OUTX !!

2007-04-28T05:18:00.000+08:00

yeay . . da siap. . haish. . amcm blog baru ? okehh pa ? haha . . borin sak . . tak leh tdo. . hmmph. .

hes so kesian seh. . i cant stand seeing hym stress or tired or wad. . he told me hes strez. . haiyoh. . if i can take away hes stress . . ish . . sumtymes i oso get self-centered on my own self la. . but i didnt mean too. . he said hes fed up wyf me . . wat fcuk seh. . padahal i'm de one fed up wif hym. . he olwaes werk. . even sundae. . n den he said he wanna give me hys phone. . ehk hello. . i dont need dat phone . . i just wants hym not to wrk on sundae. . a little bit of a tyme to spent n hafta rest too. . but he,u noe. . "i'm not listening to u , nana " kinda ting. . haish. . very hard uhr diz idiot guy. . haha!! suker ati la. . nanti aku bz kan diri baru tau. . nyehehe. .

tok about strez. . i feel strez too. . feelin so fcuked up seh. . haish. . i'm useless !! ish. . i dodnoe wads gonna happen to me n my life. . tak skola. . tak keje. . i dodnoe which one seh. . i wanna skul,but i'll feel lonely. . i wanna werk,but evritin doesnt suits me. . if i'm goin bek to skul,i oso wanna werk. . i need to haf my own earning wat. . i cant just depend on maman. . hmmph. . but conferm i get tired n lazy. . eeerrggghhh. . .!!! stress uhr. . ish. .

i wonder y diz ting cant get out frm my head. . ish . .its 5 in de morning leh. . i need to sleep !!! fcuk off la !! freaks !!

i love hym !

2007-04-09T02:54:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep !!!!!!! haish. . stress uhr. . i dont noe seh. . wat to do nao. . like i got no future. . i feel dat i'm useless. . eerrgggh. . !! i dont noe i want to skul . . or i want to werk . . or i dont wanna do anyting. . ish. . my head is spinning seh. . haha. . hmmph. . i didnt go to skul just becoz of the stoopid dance course. . i dont like dance course. .i didnt train to dance. . i dance for passion la babe. . sickening freaks wans me to dance kaper !! sick uhr . . but jus nao,ferz day dance course,i cum la. . mrepek sak. . beh dahtu takpe. . dgn chinagurl2 plak tuh. . haha. .

mira promised me dat she's skoolin back n wanted to study. . okae lorx . . i dont mind. . i rilli hope she mean it . . she promised me wat. . but funny. . if i didnt cum skool,she oso dont wanna cum. . ntah la. . aniwae shes bz wif her beloved ones wat. . apape la. .

stress sak !!! haiyoh. . maner aku nak carik duet seh. . nak bayar utang2 nie semuwer. . actually i wanna werk,but i lazy. . itu lagy satu stress. . malas satu hal,nanti tkde tyme utk maman. . dektuh orgnyer manja. . susahla. .maken diyer ckp jgn keje,maken tuh la aku tknk keje. . tapy i dont wanna trouble hym. . he said he wanna pay evritin fer me. . haish. . takkan nak mkn budi org ehk. . nanti if i say to hym lyke dat. . conferm he sort in the brain. . adoi. .diyer tak phm aper maksod budi. . one more ting ,conferm my dad fuck me upside down. . errggh. . strez uhr. . da lah. . pi mati dgn nie semuwer. .

i'm tired tinking bout ol diz. . i wannna rest. . i need peace. . later~~

2006-11-27T18:27:00.000+08:00

ehk . . binget seh . . a.j besar peh fanatic sak . . he msg me as if i n hym mataer . . padahal2 . .aper seh. .he asked me y i didnt msg hym. .den i say la i'm bz. .he said i owaes msg hym. . b4 goin to wrk i msg hym la. . finish wrk i msg hym la. .watever. . s if i rilli into hym . .sorie a.j but i dont haf feelings fer u. .gudbye !!

yg rab nie lagy satu. . prangai sak. .very self-centered. .org mengadu kat dye. .beh dye cm aper gyut seh. .tapy kesian seh. . he's putting hope on me . .he rilli tot dat i love him. . no la. . i dont haf feelings for hym . .no way. . eeeuuuw. . hes just a fren to me. .onlie a fren. .

haish. . can evrione undrstand me. . !!! i'm not trying to haf a serious relationship ryte nao. . i'm not ready yet. . i dont want a bf for nao. . to ol guys dat kenal2 wif me. . go on F.O . . if u dont noe wats F.O means. . its FUCK OFF !!! i'm not into u guys la. . pls. . rab,a.j ,ismail , ayul , mon, fred , jo , an ,apul . . to ol u guys !!!

maner namer norisman ??? hehe . . okae la . .frankly mmg i got feelings towards diz guy. . only diz guy. . coz hes de last guy at my"kenal kenalan" list. . haha. . n i admire evri part of hym. . i mean de way he tok,de way he smile. . n de way he treat gurls. . i'm not being unfair . . but i still didnt believe in love. . n i didnt trust guys!! end of it !!! but . .. ermm. . wenever i tink abt risman,i noe dat i've to give guys another chance. .hmmph. .n i noe dat i can believe in myself for love again. .haish. . norisman !!! do u noe dat i rilli admire u ?? hmmph. . ~~

2006-11-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

hmmph. . tired uh. . juz went back from wrk. . very bored. . nao smsing wif rab. . like wat sey. . feeling so fcuked up. . haish. . i dodno wat to say. . hes like treating me as hes gurl sey. . padahal2. . tak dpt uh. . boley lek sua la ehk. . its not dat i dont like him. . its juz dat i treat him as a fren onlie. . not more den dat. . i lurve goin riding wif hes frenz. . i mean chill2. . drg gerek la tapy biler part rab jek ehk da mendak. . m i toying wif hes feelin? naah. . its just a misunderstood thingy okae. . haiyoh. .

hmmph. . a.j didnt msg me. . y? wat happen. . might be hes meeting hes beloved ex lorx. . hahax. . i used to jealous on that. . lolx. . but tink back fer wat want to jealous rite. . i got no strong feelings on him wat. . maybe juz needing a sweet fren for me. . haha. . okae2. . diz rab really is getting on my last nerve sey. . haish. . i'm not waiting fer his msg or calls la. . i'm waiting fer norisman's. . y norisman didnt call me sey. . wat telah happen man. . ish. . da la gotta go. . later---

2006-11-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

hello2. . gi riding dgn rab n memberz. . gerek. . tapi penat uh dok kat moto. . ish. . but after so long i didnt meet them. . heh. . satu2 dgn pompan. . taknak kalah. . hahax. . well dey r all big guys wat. . wat to do. . cant blame them ritex. . aniwae i find its kinda hard to get along wif rab. . ermm. . not to mention anything la. . but i dodno. . hmmph. . i guez hes not d right one ahain. . hmmph. . tinking bout him makes me feel depressed. . my heart bleeds again. . i'm so disappointed wif rab. . haish. . it hurts me so bad. . rab. . do ever tink of treating me the right way. .

well. . i didnt contact wif a.j. . heex. . kinda miss him. . but i hope he'll undrstand wat i meant by not contacting him. . i juz dont want my frens to see dat i'm tryin to fool ard wif guys feelings. . hahax. . still remember how he smile at me n i'm takin he's order. . wen he talk. . wow. . it was like a 'u r cool dude' kinda thing. . hes cute. . small size. . cool. . he get my number from my colleague which was his cuzzin. . errggh. . how dare she juz gave it. . but no regrets. . a.j is a great guy indeed. .

its been nearly a mth. . n yet sumtimes i break down n cry to myself. . tinking,wondering y my life's like diz. . y was all dat happened to me. . hmmph. . stop it la nana. . enuff is enuff. .
adioz_____

2006-11-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

ayul. . hes a great guy. . fun to be wif. . but hes too kind. . hes to good to be wif a gurl like me. . he can find another better gurl wat. .i'm sorrie dear2 ayul. . well,went to a pub wif ika. . great la. . but the pub so bored sei. . drink like hell oso bored. . heex. . waste time go there. . hmmph. . started to receive many kenalans. . but nope. . no seriouc intention. . i treat ol of dem as frenz . .dere wont be a way i'm gonna find a new one .yah. . i contact back wif rab. . hahax. . i'm not a playgurl. . not even tryin to be one. . haish. . juz findin tings to do during my past time. . well maybe i tot dat rab is closer wif me den a.j. . thought i left ayul. . i didnt mean it in harsh la. . u noe. . i lurve clubbing. . pubs. . i'm a drinker. . whu ever cant accpet me the way i m den F.O is the only ting i can say la. . even i noe its fer my own gud. . i even want to change. . but its hard u noe. . heex. . nao i'm i dilemma !!! disana menanti disni menunggu. . hmmph. . wat i'm gonna do.. . i'm not gonna play wif their feelings. . they noe about each other la. . i mean i tell a.j about rab. . i tell rab about a.j. . hope they understand me n give me time. . i still havent starting to feel anyting wif dem sey. . i mean,i still cant forget abt the past. . abt ahling. . n oso feeling2 utk rab atao a.j blom ader la . . haish. . hmmph. . kae lorx. . goin out to meet rab. . later---

2006-11-06T11:16:00.000+08:00

ooopssy. . sorie la blog i nvr update. . heex. . aniwae i'm back again. . startin anew. . hey guez wat,the doc's sleeping pill. . its sooooo effective. . sumtimes i tot dat i cant sleep wif dat pill. . so i went to pharmacy n ask fer sumting else which may cause me not too find fer the sleeping pill again. . hmmph. . they gave me wat pills la,i oso dodno. . my parents kept it coz they scared i would haf to addicted to it. . geesh. .old ppl r owaes like diz. . hehx. .

well fer diz one wk,i've been tinking dat i've to move on. . congrats fer myself dat i can actually move on. .hahax. . independent? naah. .i've nvr been independent. . guez dat i'm juz strong enuf to cope on tings even my heart's sick or wat. . yepx. . hearing be without you by mary j.blige at my werk place really makes me feel the pain again. . haish. .but nehmind. . i started to get to noe diz guy named ayul. . hes my colleague la. . he's cute. . yepz. . damn cute. . like teddy bear. . went out wif him yesterday. . go vivo city. . hahax. . great. . njoy it. .

njoy? hmmph. . my heart stills bleeding. . not because i still lurve him or wat. . its sumting which i regret on. . haish. . my swollen heartache. . pity my heart. . hmmph. . ____________

2006-10-25T04:04:00.000+08:00

well2. . didnt get so much sleep. . only fer an hour plus. . wake up at 7 in the morning. . haish. . its raya. . hmmph. . even i'm like diz. . i felt so much love wif my family. . guez wat. . my parents tok to me abt ahling. . hahax. . they consoled me. . n i culdnt believe dat my tears suddenly rolled down my cheeks. . n wen they keep on persuading me,den i started to cry as wat i used to evry nite. . it was kinda embarassed s i didnt cry becoz of lovelife in front of my parents. . i mean in pagi raya i cried fer sumone which my parents hate n whom i loved deeply. . u muz be kidding. . i mean he doesnt owe a car or wat wat. . hmph. . but th truth is dat i noe dat i've been too rude n ruthless towerds my parents. . its raya,so me n my siblings seek forgiveness lorx wif my parents. . i cried again. . so emotional. . but i cried because i noe,i've done so much sin all along. . i've been to cruel. . *sobx. . kae2. . hopefully my evening is better. . wanna taste my mom's lontong. . yummy. . my fav u noe. . tatas___